"There are 2 places in your heart. The Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room. On the walls of the Appreciation Room are kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Like, "honest," "intelligent," "diligent" etc.
Most things written in the Appreciation Room were likely written in the initial stages of your relationship. You spent a great deal of time dwelling on them in this room...before you were married. But you may have found that you don't visit this special room as often as you once did. That's because there is another competing room nearby.
On the walls of the Depreciation Room are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. The things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.
Spending time in this room kills marriages.
You may say, "But these things are true!" Yes, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room.
Everyone fails and has areas that need growth. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. This is a sad aspect of being human. We have all sinned. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner's failures under a magnifying glass.
Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists.
But love chooses not to live there. You must decide to stop running there and lingering after every frustrating event in your relationship.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible love focuses on the positive.
The only reason you should glance in the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse.
You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not.
Today's Dare: Get 2 sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. at some point during the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
1 comment:
This is so true yet so hard! Does this really work if you do it and your spouse dosen't? Cause I dunno this is a hard one when he does it too and your suppost to change and just pray for him! GRRRRRR! OK
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