Feeling Thankful

Today I stumbled upon a support group for AVM survivors. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I am to have been given the option of stereotactic radiosurgery aka the cyberknife. Not only was I treated with this amazing non-invasive treatment, I was treated by the best possible person to do it. I have been alone in this AVM world but I'm not complaining, David was with me every step of the way, but yet, he'll never know what it's like. I've never felt that I needed to "talk" to anyone really but now that I see there are other people out there with AVM's and many much worse than mine, I wish I had found this site much earlier.

Today I have met people who have no hope of being cured. I have met people who have been basically forgotten by their doctors who said any treatment is too risky and then left alone. On the bright side, I have met people who are living their lives full of hope that their treatment is going to bring positive results. I met people who have AVM's in places that I didn't know you could even have one. These people are so incredibly brave. Most of the people though, are victims of brain AVM's. I was the victim of the much less common spinal AVM. No longer a victim but a survivor.

Sometimes even I forget where I've been. I know others do. I can't believe what has happened but I am so happy it's over. I look so normal, it's hard to believe that there was a time when I didn't know if I would walk, brush my own hair, take a shower by myself, touch my nose or feel my arm ever again. Wow. God truly is miraculous. He has taken such good care of us and provided in ways that can only be described as supernatural. Unexplainable.

Now that I have found this website. I hope to be a source of encouragement and hope to my fellow AVM survivors. I pray that they can see that good things can happen. Prayers can be answered. I hope to spread the news of the Cyberknife and the wonders that it can do. I found today that people had no clue about the Cyberknife or they thought it was only used to treat brain AVM's. I hope that at least one person mentions it to their doctor and can have this life changing treatment done on them. Some people are living in very scary and uncertain times and I hope that they can be encouraged by my story.

Revision

I think I need to make a correction to my previous post! I am not normal again. I am normal for the first time! Before I had a condition and just didn't know about it! Haha! Anyway, it's over now except for the annoying nerve damage that I have but you get used to it's annoyances! I'm ready to move now!

GOOD NEWS!!

Ok, we already new this but I have been given the official YOU ARE CLEAR! One of the doctors that I have seen, was finally reminded by email by another doctor of mine, to check out the results of my arteriogram. He just called a while ago and said that I'm clear. No more AVM in my neck! I'm good to go with pregnancy (dont' get excited, not happening yet) and whatever else I want to do! woohoo! So, I am officially a normal person again! yay!

Poor David

He is going to be so tired in the coming month. We still have to get the rest of the house packed and the garage and the cellar and the shed...

We are going to Cincinnati Feb 5th through the 11th for the V-Twin Expo Show. It's where everyone in the industry brings out their new products. We went last year and David's tool won a spot in the top 6 most innovative products coming in at number 3. And earned him a spot on The Speed Channel. This year we are hoping for good things since the tool is actually available and we are also taking wheels that David makes. They are awesome. He is so talented and I am so proud of my hubby. We'll becoming home early, early in the morning on the 11th and then we're getting our moving truck on the 16th. Then the poor guy has to load all of his equipment. And when I say equipment, I mean HUGE machines. Plus the billions of little things floating around in the shop. Then he'll be driving to Idaho! WootWoot! And he doesn't know yet but I just bought him a plane ticket to fly back from Idaho on the 23rd. The guy wanted to ride his motorcycle back and after many debates I convinced him not to because of the weather and the relatively cheap ticket prices. So, now he has to go because I just paid for it!

Oh and Vicki, I hate to put in requests but the guy won't shut up about your better than sex cake. Could you make the poor guy one? I will be forever grateful and will return the favor some day!

Oklahoma Snow/Ice

We finally got a good amount of ice and then a little bit of snow. I slid part of the way home on Monday! Thanks to the roads though, I got to work from home!

Not sad to leave my neighbors!

Ok, I have issues with my neighbors. They moved in last spring or summer and brought with them their 5 dogs. At the time, there was only a chain link fence that seperated our yards and so their dogs would fight with my dogs through the fence. This resulted in a $300+ vet bill after their dogs got mine all rowled up and my male dog attacked my female resulting in staples in the leg. So my dogs were confined to the house. Not only this but EVERY TIME you walk out of the house the dogs sound like they're going to rip your face off if they can get to you. EVERY TIME I pull up to the house and get out of the vehicle. EVERY TIME I take something out to trash. Basically any time we're outside these dogs are going insane. The people finally put up a stockade fence that has helped but they still bark at anything that blows in the wind. It's getting, wait, no, it got old a long time ago. Let me also mention the big green light that they installed on the side of their house that shines in my bedroom window at night!



Anyway, back in December we dog sat our friend's dogs. These dogs were only outside during the day and inside when we were home. The neighbor lady had the nerve to ask David if we got new dogs. And when he told her no, we were just dog sitting, she said "good, because, it's been rough" What?! Let's talk about what we've put up with since you moved your stupid dogs in lady! And she's at work during the day when they were out and they were in when she was at home! Anyway, my dear hubby didn't say anything to her because he is too nice. If her dogs weren't idiots, there would have never been an issue.



So, yesterday. We're getting in the car and she's like "oh, you're leaving us?" In reference to the for rent sign in the yard. So, we tell her yeah and where we're moving to, yada yada. She says "Are you going to let people with dogs rent here? Because it would really benefit us if you didn't" Good thing I was already in the car. I don't really want to have renters that have dogs to mess up my house but just for the sake of her I hope someone with 5 dogs (that they keep outside) moves in! I mean, these people have really annoyed us with their dogs and they tell us the dogs are like "angels" but that they have a "pack mentality". Whatever. It ticks me off! It's like they have no clue how horrible it is to live next to their dogs! I could go on and on but I'll stop here. I wish someone would call the city on them since they're over the limit on dogs.

Bye Boat!

Aren't the words to that video funny? Sometimes I can't believe that we're just packing up and going to Idaho! Everyone asks "why?" all I can say is "because we want to!" We sold our boat today which is bittersweet. I didn't want to get rid of it but the money helps!

Video of Idaho

For Rent

Wow! I can't believe what I am seeing! Our house is officially for rent!!! Please pray that we get a renter in by the first of March or else we have to stick around longer. And we don't want that! 

I survived!

Ok, I survived the dreaded arteriogram. We can all relax now. Man, that was no fun but on the plus side, it was way shorter than the first one I had. And I also got good news. My AVM is gone! woohoo! I am waiting though to hear from my neurosurgeon to hear what he has to say. I want to talk to someone who saw what I had before and sees what's going on now. The Dr. that did the procedure didn't know me. In fact, he didn't know what he was looking for. But anyway, it wasn't too horrible (even though he didn't give me enough anesthetic). So anyways, I'm good to go!

Packing

I let my poor husband pack last night by himself. I just didn't have it in me. We went and ate at this onion burger place with my dad and I ate a salad. Well, let me tell you that I HATE shredded lettuce. And wouldn't you know it, my salad was a bowl of shredded lettuce. I managed to get some down but I was feeling very sick on the way home. I could't stop picturing that shredded lettuce mixed with ranch in a huge glob on the plate. I just had to breathe through it. David's been working on cutting down a tree in my dad's backyard and will continue to this weekend. And my dad told me that I had to stay over there and watch him. Apparently last weekend my dad washed the dishes so he could see out the window and other various household chores down stairs so he could keep an eye on my hubby.

Isn't that cute?

So, back to the packing. Our office has been declared a disaster area ever since we moved the shop home. It's been so overwhelming in there that I haven't hardly touched it...and neither has David. Well, let me tell you how awesome it looks! David packed up most of the room and you can see the floor now. I'll have to post a picture. You'd understand my happiness more if you saw the room before, however, even if I had a picture of what the room looked like, I wouldn't post it. We're getting closer and closer!

The dreaded event has finally come

I got a phone call today from the Doctor and they have set up for me to have (gulp) an arteriogram. I had one of these done when I was in the hopsital 3 years ago and it wasn't fun. It's not the end of the world but definitly not fun. So, this Monday, Jan 19 I will be going to the hospital to have this done. Now, for those of you who don't know exactly what this is, let me tell you. They stick a catheter into your main artery in your groin and shoot dye to where ever it's needed. In this case, it's into my spine to see if my AVM's gone. But the dye goes into your brain so it burns. And apparently David had to sign something before they did it to me the first time because there is a chance that I could be brain damaged due to the stopping of blood flow to my brain. That's encouraging. And something else that I don't like is that the doctor told me he was going to try to have it done at Mercy because they're good over there. Well, Mercy won't do it I guess so I'm having it done at St. Anthony's. I mean, I'm sure those people are qualified to do it BUT if he for some reason felt more comfortable with Mercy, then well, I do too! If St. Anthony's was fine, why didn't he just recommend doing it there in the first place?

Well, anyway, I know I'll be fine. The next fun part comes when you have to lay still for 6 hours so you don't bleed to death. Last time I had it done, I hurt for like 6 months afterwards. Anyone tired of my whining yet? Well, I am. Anywho, that's what I have to look forward to. Now for the good part of it. This arteriogram is the only way to confirm that the AVM is gone. Do you know how wonderful it would be to FOR SURE to know that it's gone? This would mean that I would never have to wonder if it will bleed again and I will be given the ok to have babies (yay!). Anyways, peace of mind is always good!

Idaho here we come!

Not much longer!!! We've gotten slightly behind on packing since David's friend has been in the hospital and my sweet husband has been visiting him in the evenings. Then yesterday he had to work at the stupid deli. So tonight I am locking him in the bedroom and making him decide what he wants to keep and what he doesn't...since it is his stuff after all. Then I'm going to lock him into the other bedroom to go through his stuff in there. And then, the packing can resume.

David and I are doing good with eating healthy. We both have noticed differences! That feels awesome and is very encouraging! Now if only I could motivate myself to eat healthy and work out...I'm dying for a Dr. Pepper right now. Thankfully I haven't had any major cravings, except for this one right now. Hmm...how bad will I feel if I tell David tonight that I drank one?

So, I'm pretty stoked that I was invited to join a Bunko group in Idaho. Did I spell that right?
Amy plays sometimes with her church friends but I've never played. I'm just excited that I have something to do there. Thanks for the invite Vicki...I hope I have beginner's luck!

I can't wait to post pictures and video from Idaho on here. Maybe someday there will be some cool photos of me doing sweet tricks while I'm snowboarding. And maybe some photos of me dying while David drags me up the side of a mountain while we "hike". Haha! By the way, have I ever mentioned that I'm not an outdoorsy kind of girl? Something about moving to Idaho has provoked the small sliver of an outdoorsy girl in me to come out. Hopefully she doesn't go screaming back to the city! I'm excited though to try something different. But please, don't make me ski. I will be the person who hits the tree or gets caught in an avalanche. But I want to snow board, so I'm willing to risk those things. David and I had a hayday this weekend looking at all the things we need to move to Idaho. Such as: a kayak (spelling?) a book on who survives in the wild and why they do (that would be for me!) a heavy duty sleeping bag for cold weather, a dutch oven, an even better stove than the one we already have, all kinds of lights, a cool bag that straps to you with a camel pack in it, new shoes, new coats, box of games to play while camping, a bathing suit, and the list goes on and on (and on). Maybe one day...

February 16

So, I guess that is the date that David will be moving our stuff to Idaho! I can't believe it! Pray that we can get a renter in our house soon! My dad is sad that I am leaving and that only makes it harder for me to leave. I'm leaving him by himself. But, I know I can't let that stop me. I hope he comes to visit. I cannot wait to get there though and take pictures of all the things we will be doing. Austin and Vicki...you're awesome for letting us come! Well, I better get to packing!

Hunger

David and I started eating healthy yesterday. We decided to get rid of the fat and to get healthy in general. Man, my stomach is stretched out. We went to 6 small meals and let me tell you...I was starving yesterday. And if I was starving, poor David must have been dying! Today is better though. I haven't been near as hungry. I feel better too in just one day...not as bloated. Pretty soon I'm going to look like those pictures I posted! And the H-O-T guy that I married will come back too! I'm really excited about the changes that are going to take place this year, health wise and in other ways too.

I wish I could speed up time and get out to Idaho now. I wish someone else would come pack my house! We're going to be doing alot of traveling in the next 2 months. We're going to Cincinnati to a tradeshow for our tool and then we'll come back and it's off to Idaho (as long as we can rent out our house). I'm ready for a change of scenery, literally and figuratively.

Worry

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.

-Corrie ten Boom

No Evidence of Progress?

No Evidence Of Progress?

At times nothing seems to be happening. So it must be for the bird that sits on her nest. Things are apparently at a standstill. But the bird sits quietly, knowing that in the stillness something vital is going on, and in the proper time it will be shown. It takes faith and patience for the bird, and such faith and patience never seem to waiver, day after day, night after night, as she bides the appointed time.

Restless and doubtful we wonder why we have nothing to show for our efforts, no visible evidence of progress. Let us remember the perfect egg--unchanged in its appearance from the day it is laid. But while the bird waits faithfully, doing the only thing she is required to do throughout those silent weeks, important things are taking place.

I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope. 

My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

Psalm 130: 5 & 6

--Elisabeth Elliott

I must give credit to Rocks in my Dryer for posting this

Time

Man, time flies! I can't believe it's the new year already. 2009...can you believe it? I'm going to be 25 this year. 25! I know that's not old but it's the oldest I've ever been. And David's going to be 26! 2009 means it's been 7 years since I graduated, 6 years since my dear mom died and 6 years that I have been with David. 18 was a crazy age for me. It was so long ago but yet feels like I was just 18 yesterday. God has proved ever faithful in these past years and will continue to be so in the future. I look forward to 2009 and hope that it is the best year yet. I hope for changes this year which I will not disclose due to history of not following through! But by God's grace I hope that He brings out the best of David and I so that we can grow closer to Him and each other. We have a truly wonderful relationship that I know is only going to get stronger this next year. I pray everyone has a wonderful new year!