Rather than making one really long post, I'm making two.
It seems that it's been brought up around me a lot...the age old question "why do bad things happen?" And the usual response "Everything happens for a reason." And honestly, I get tired of hearing that. It's not that I don't believe that everything happens for a reason, I believe it does. I just know that I may never know that reason. And I find that it does no good dwelling on the whys. I just know that when the rain comes, my God has proven to me that He will take care of us no matter what. That's all I need to know.
I read a blog about the wife of one of the singer's of the christian group Selah. She found out while she was pregnant with her 4th daughter, that her baby had many complications and would not live past birth. It is an understatement for me to say that I am amazed at her faith in God and her desire to make her situation a reason to rejoice in God and see how good He is. I am in awe of this woman.
One morning, in one of her moments of sadness at the thought of her unborn baby Audrey and her terminal condition, she opens the scriptures and reads about the crucifixion of Jesus:
"The image of Jesus being mocked while he bled and suffered was unbearable today. More so than any other time I have read the story. His words, His shame, His pain. The fact that as I read those words, I am reminded that He knew my Audrey while He hung. He knew how many breaths she would have, how many tears I would cry for her, how I will run to her in heaven and rejoice that she doesn't need her lungs there anyway because she is perfect. He knew these words before I typed them. His love is deeper than I can fathom. If you want to feel the Holy Spirit fill you, try something one day. Maybe today if you can make the time. Start by praying for God to reveal Himself in a new way to you, and then read through these words of agony and death, and imagine your face as what He saw. You were worth it. He still believes that. I hope you do too. When God turned away from His Son, and darkness crept across Calvary, He knew your face, your heart, your hurts. They are forever hidden within His wounds.
It always makes me laugh when Abby and Ellie watch Sleeping Beauty. They have seen it no less than 20 times, and yet, when it is time for Aurora's finger to touch the spinning wheel, they cover their eyes and ask over and over, "What is going to happen to her?" The truth is that they know what is going to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. There is time between her bleeding and her waking up. The in-between is where the doubt creeps in. Where you think that evil might just win, and that the great rescue will be stifled.
I know that He will raise up, He will conquer, but when I read about the cross I want to close my eyes until the in-between is over. Today, as I read each scripture, I was struck by something I have never put too much emphasis on before. Jesus did not return to His followers as a healed man. He had scars that told the story, that brought Thomas to belief. He was alive, fully alive, and yet, not unscathed.
God chose to use these wounds to remind the world what He had overcome. It seems like if I were the writer of the story, I would heal them completely. Really show people what kind of power I had. Just make it look like it never happened...complete restoration. This isn't what God chose for Christ, and it isn't what He chooses for any one of us.
If we are called to suffer in the name of Jesus, we bear scars as well. He doesn't hide them when trouble has passed, but rather He allows our paths to cross with those who want to touch them, to believe in them, to fall into the arms of the one who allowed them to be inflicted.
This is why I write to you all. I have prayed many, many times that the eyes that read these words will run their fingers along the wounded hands of Christ, letting His suffering tell you the depth of love He has for you. This life is not about being healed.It's about bearing wounds for the sake of the One who bore them for us. For you. As a psychologist, I want to help people face these hard things. To turn them into beautiful gifts to be given back to the Lord."
And now the words to a song that competes to be my favorite.
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)
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